


The Light Which Burns

by Merfilly



Series: Separating Sparks [3]
Category: Transformers (Bay Movies)
Genre: Aftermath, M/M, Rare Pairing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-07
Updated: 2011-09-07
Packaged: 2017-10-23 12:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/250260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sideswipe has not recovered, but Optimus needs him</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Light Which Burns

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Sideswipe has not fully processed what happened when he merged his spark with Sunstreaker's, but feels like he killed him by doing so.

Optimus Prime needed his body guard. Sideswipe needed a reason to live. Prowl pointed this out to both Jazz and Ironhide, after their third attempt to foist a new mech off on the Prime had ended badly. That mech was in a state of morose guilt, Prime was injured for the third time straight, and enough angry blaming was going on to make the current Headquarters feel like a Decepticon camp.

"Leave it t' me, mechs, on makin' it happen," Jazz told the other officers in on the emergency meeting. The rest all nodded. Who else but his consort could push Optimus Prime to do something he did not want to do?

`~`~`~`~`

Optimus Prime was still bristling as the door slid shut and locked behind him. He hated being pushed around or manipulated, and yet Jazz was an expert at laying facts out in such a way that Optimus had no choice but to comply. Now he was in the chamber where Sideswipe rested, his frame in something approaching stasis lock but his processor still in that strange pattern of activity that Ratchet had been incapable of deciphering.

With an effort, the Prime pulled all of his irritation in check, calming his fields to a careful thrum of neutrality. He approached the berth, taking in the fact Ratchet had not only repaired the mech's battle damage fully, but also found time to buff and shine most of it on the premise that such care might rouse the warrior. Optimus could appreciate Sideswipe's beauty, but he felt nothing but loss in this moment, for Sunstreaker was not here to complain about a whorl in the finish that marred the overall beauty, or some other imagined slight.

::How hard is it for you, my loyal one, when you shared your spark with him? All I had was his service; you had his entire self.:: The directed words across the link met an echoing emptiness, further sending Optimus down the spiral of pain and misery. ::Sideswipe, I know he's gone. I know that you feel that loss as if part of you is missing. But you…can't leave us. I need you here. I need you at my side once more. I do understand, and I loathe that I must ask you to remain with me.::

Very gently, Optimus Prime rested his digits along the helm of his warrior. He let his optics dim, and slowly summoned up the link within the Allspark that connected him to all Cybertronians, seeking the one to this mech before him. It was closer than many, because of Sideswipe's relationship with him as his bodyguard and friend. Once it was held tight within Optimus's processor, the Prime touched it fully, pushing his understanding and need both down the link.

`~`~`~`~`

Sideswipe was circling the brightness, afraid of touching it, afraid of what it meant. Here, he had his brother. Here, he did not have to face the fact he killed his brother. Here, he was safe from the rage, the guilt, the pain.

The brightness would not go away. It was too familiar, too much a part of his existence now. He needed that light, even as he hated it, resented its intrusion, wished it did not exist.

The brightness had cost him his twin. That overrode the rest, and with a snarl, he launched himself at the brightness.

`~`~`~`~`

Optimus had only just barely brought himself away from trying to reach Sideswipe's consciousness when the prone mech lurched upward, hands flailing to try and hit the mech near him. The Prime was not so slow as to be caught by them, though he did not understand at first.

"It should have been you!" were the first words, screamed in agony, from Sideswipe's vocalizer.

"Yes."

Sunstreaker had lured the pursuit away, so that Sideswipe could get their Prime to safety. It had cost the bronze mech his existence in the end, and Sideswipe would never, ever forgive Prime that loss. However, that admission worked through Sideswipe's grief, made him see that Sunstreaker had died doing what they both had sworn to do. He let a keen born of the logic and emotion conflict escape, then burrowed into the chest of the mech that had shifted, catching him up, holding him close.

Sideswipe had to live, had to fulfill his vows. He didn't want to, but to do less mocked Sunstreaker's sacrifice.

"I hate you."

"You should."

The words fell into silence then, but neither mech left the other, bound in common loss and duty alike.


End file.
